awayfromthemaddingcrowd

(An Original Piece by Jacinta C. Songlingco, Guest Blogger)

A speck in the sand, a shadow in the dark, a dust in the universe.

Born supine,

it’s just a force of design.

Other stars burn brighter, and they show you your place.

Incompetence gets you erased.

You become a puppet of society.

You strive for propriety.

Existence only happens when you’re accepted.

Then knives come out from their mouths.

And you bleed, again and again, and again.

Cut the strings.

Then you see yourself.

Little by little you unearth gems from the labyrinth.

Each find made you gleam.

Perhaps you are competent, it may seem.

A caress in the soul ignites the flame.

You forget others to keep you sane.

This path you take reopens wounds, but you ripen each day.

Never turn back for a cascade awaits you.

Never lose grip from the light that saved you.

Spare yourself from misery.

Come to me, your newfound glee.

A moth to the flame.

That conflagrant passion seduces you to claim.

“With competence, I shall reign.”

You sharpen your blade.

Fight those who shade.

Air squeezes from your lungs.

And the anchors are wrung.

Come to me, my darling.

I will release you from your bindings.

What was this untold bliss?

A quick taste of a kiss.

And you find yourself scouring for more,

that everyone always deplored.

But you’ve built your own pillar.

You stand tall, fists balled, hardened to brawl.

In this grime where you endured the whips, 

each desire bled out in drips. 

This vigor creeps in your veins. 

And here you are hiking terrains.

 “Never lose grip,” you say.

 “I am capable come what may.”

You claw your way onto the summit, 

only to see the vastness of the plains beneath. 

We lock eyes and you melt into my gaze. 

Then you lose yourself in a daze. 

The sky deems you wise…astute. 

But now you face clouds so brute. 

The grays struck out lightning. 

And you climb higher mountains, past the clouds to meet the stars shining. 

You earned your score,

 yet you hungered for more.

“I am capable,” you again say. 

One small mistake can cause you dismay.

Never lose grip, never turn back. 

Avert from the past that’s seeping through cracks. 

One score is not enough to fulfill your stringency. 

So, you batter yourself for urgency.

Time was always of the essence. 

You forage impatiently for competence. 

You want to be the maestro at a young age, 

thus, blinding you of your accomplished stage. 

So determined to commit to me, 

and here I wait daydreaming of what we could be. 

Then you speak to me, 

“Competence, our future is bright, I foresee.”

You fall from a cliff and lose your will. 

Stuck again and abandon the thrill. 

The heights block the light, cladding the lands in a penumbra of darkness. 

Abandon hope ye who enter, 

but you were only forced in this ruthless nether. 

The ghosts of your past came to devour. 

How you never paid attention until this wee hour. 

“I am incapable,” you say, 

“I stay stagnant in this pandemic decay.”

The cries of life shriek in the night. 

They prey on you in this woeful plight. 

You find yourself living in an endless rain. 

You forge new goals to survive the pain. 

“I need to regain my strength,” you declare, 

“a better guide to be aware.”

But where do you start? 

The mountain looms behind you, but you begin to depart. 

“Soon,” you lament, 

“I just have to surpass this hellish torment”. 

My chest tightens as you set me aside. 

No matter how hard you try, I’ve always lingered inside. 

Is it me who’s now breaking your heart, 

a near future you always had a deep regard?

I have become your dream and depression. 

Even with your constant progression, 

it never once became a satisfaction. 

You have regained your strength, 

but you wallow in disappointment. 

It kills me to see you in this grief, 

for I could only hold you in your dreams so brief. 

“What do I do?” you say, 

“I’m doing everything to make a way.”

“Focus on the present,” I reassure, 

“You’ve always been capable to score.”

You start to see me as a distraction,

This ongoing obsession causing an apprehension,

You set me aside once more,

As you focus on surviving this current horror.

Tears pour out again like rain.

You relieve yourself from burdens so insane.

Then you rush out to the gory domain,

Slaying demons from this horrid arcane.

You reject your own sweltering pain,

Because time was something you can’t restrain.

But now you face the wave.

Dark and murky – your supposed grave.

You dive in with depleted strength.

The current bashes you against stones.

Your body scrapes from its reefs.

Sea varmints maul you from flesh to bone.

And the waters taint with your blood.

Your corpse washes back to shore.

A sight I could never ignore.

Wake up.

This is no place to give up.

And you stood from the sand,

Watching the seas ripple in a gentle breeze.

No bruise nor wound taint your hands,

Realizing it was all just you being uneased.

 You trudge back to the mountain,

And climb up to a ledge.

You lay down facing the stars, this time succumbing to rest.

“Competence,” you say,

“How far I have strayed.”

In your dreams, we once again meet.

You limp as you walk and hold yourself from collapsing.

I catch you in an embrace,

Keeping you up from crumbling.

It had been so long since we held each other close,

And neither of us oppose.

You’re debilitated and sicked with fatigued with the constant downpour of plagues,

But in here is your safe solace.

“I was wrong,” you say in tears,

“You were never my distraction.”

“You were my sole inspiration.”

Your words swirl colors inside me,

And I am consumed with glee.

I have always been with you, my dear.

At day you venture up again the harsh terrains.

You climb your way up to the mountain.

You fall but get back up.

You stop and take a rest.

Stringency kept you grounded.

Urgency had you molded.

Too much of them eradicate you,

But you’ve learned to be sagacious.

You’re an erudite battling the atrocious.

Claim your throne – an onyx in display.

And at the end of the day,

You then say,

“Competence, I am capable come what may.”